Knife Guarantees, Truths, and Fighting

Editors Note : This was written with tongue firmly in cheek :)

We guarantee these things;
1. Carbon steel knives will tarnish or rust
2. Stainless steel knives will slightly tarnish
3. All the screws on your knife will loosen up and fall out.
4. Your pocket clip will break.
5. All knife edges will go dull, steel, ceramic, titanium, etc.
6. Knives with blades that never need sharpening will eventually need sharpening.
7. Every knife manufactured or made by hand will have a defect somewhere, and you will find it if you look carefully enough.
8. All blades, back springs, handles, and locks will break.
9. You will eventually cut your self.
10. Your wife will tell you, you have too many knives and they are too expensive (usually said while admiring her Dooney And Burke leather purse collection.)
11. If you loan your knife to your buddy he will pry the lid off a paint can, break the tip, leave it laying on the tailgate of your pickup, and or steal it.

Truths I have observed;
12. There are more knives that have been endorsed by SEALS and or Special Forces than there are SEALS or Special Forces on active duty.
13. Any one that has broken a knife blade was just cutting tissue paper or marshmallows.
14. A dull knife will cut you. A sharp knife will cut you to the bone.
15. The airport gate security guard will confiscate your knife to protect the public (and then take it home).
16. If I pick you out a knife that looks good to me, you will probably not like it.

Modified 1-18-2006